it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm at about main and main street
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
