I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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