just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
