I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
