I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
