It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
