it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize