i don't like sucking hair
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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