Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
