You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
