Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
