you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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