Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
