it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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