More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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