Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
BRING THE BAGELS
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
