i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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