so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
