My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
