This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
