I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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