Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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