420 ftw
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
