i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
