we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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