Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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