i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Randomize
