Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
