you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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