Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
