Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Please don't give away my fajitas
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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