what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
