im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Welp...herpes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
