i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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