i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Another day, another engagement, another cat
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
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