I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
