Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
