I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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