Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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