..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She's JV to your varsity
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
