yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
