marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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