doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
