i don't plan on having that self control this summer
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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