I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sext me about skeletons
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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