Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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