is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
