i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
