i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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