You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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