Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
