Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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