Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize