Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
