she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
