Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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