Even the bartender felt bad for me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
