think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
