Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there was a trapeze. enough said
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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