Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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