we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
