She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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