yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
