It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
how drunk are you?
Several
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
