addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
