I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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